WaHt is Love?

............& suddenly the head bobbing idiot brothers from 'A night at the Roxbury' flash into my mind while Haddaway croons..'Baby don't hurt me...don't hurt me.. no more! What is Love?!'

This song is etched into my brain so hard, so deep, so hopelessly well rooted, that I might wake up in a next birth screaming the lyrics in my sleep. Hmmm.

So, now, what was love for me?

Flash back, Neha, 1 year old. The first thing she learns to do that looks like a coherent hand movement? A Flying Kiss. Yes, yes, born Hopeless. Erm, a hopeless romantic, that is.

1st crush, in school, Junior Kg. I mean who has crushes in Junior Kg? Cmon. I thought I could never have him, which is quite an intense thought for a 4 year old. Kids only know how to scream bloody murder, throw a tantrum & get things they want. Something was very deeply ingrained in me, right from the time I wore pigtails, ate mud & couldn't say which shoe went on which foot that I was doomed to love someone I could never have. Drama abhi baaki hai mere dost, yeh to sirf shuruaat hai.

Funnily enough this ill fated trend continued till college, & I kept on falling for guys who were never right for me. Isse kehten hain consistent behaviour. While in college I swore off men, and well, no... I didn't focus on studies either. Hmmm. Well, just generally didn't go out with anyone those 3-4 years. Graduated & took up a job, well then, the hopes of finding someone amazing someday began to come forth & just then, I stopped having any semblance of a life outside of office. 8 minute lunches, and 9 to 9 work hours, I couldn't even think of having a life outside of work.

Which is when I met Ian. They say, no matter where you are, who you're with, what you're doing, if its your time to meet your soulmate, he/she'll show up & sweep you off your feet, & then, you will hardly be able to imagine how life went on this far without them. So since, I didn't have a social life, it was possibly preordained he meet me in the guise of a possible job seeker (he wasn't) since I am a recruiter (ah, the modern love story), & I thought it'd be nice to keep in touch with this really funny, smart, intelligent guy who sent me really funny emails once in a while (not forwards)....handwritten emails.

The first time I met him, I only remember a feeling of being happy. Happier than I'd ever been. Happy & Peaceful. Not the nervous sort of happy one is most times, knowing something idiotic is just about to happen that will put an end to the lovely-happy-fun-time. But actually really happy from some core inside of me. And everytime I met him as friends, that happiness radiated all bright & bubble gummy....& the pessimistic kindergartener smiled a big toothy smile, gave me a thumbs up & disappeared into the candy clouds.

Sigh. :) 99 & counting...